The virus is spreading; school will shut soon.
We’re teaching remotely, from March to June.
Old teachers scramble to learn online tools
From young colleagues so we won’t look like fools;
Virtual classrooms we build on the fly
And make kids log on before we say, “Bye!”
We send home school lunches, issue laptops;
Our district shines ‘gainst a gloomy backdrop.
State leaders promise a plan to provide
Some way to span the digital divide;
Too dumb to conceive something effective
They just say all spring learning’s elective!
Most of my kids have Internet at home;
I’m ready to teach about ancient Rome.
But teens who can code, Minecraft, and TikTok,
Program robots and pick digital locks
Say they can’t Zoom and can’t Google Classroom,
So they cut class and blast bad guys on Doom.
They’re streaming YouTube; they Netflix and chill
Texting and chatting ’til they’ve had their fill.
Violate quarantine, hang out with friends;
This spring their summer vacation extends!
Safe at home, healthy, and free from learning:
Broken synapses, dead brain cells burning.
We call their parents; nobody answers.
Virus is bad, but there are worse cancers:
Sloth, ignorance, and zero ambition.
(When will it end, this COVID perdition?)
Learning by videoconference is “lame”;
Most kids prefer to play videogames.